伴侶相處中的什麼禁忌最好不要碰?
What relationship sin should you avoid at all costs?
From:Samantha Kelly
You should never turn your partner’s generosity into your entitlement.
永遠不要把伴侶的慷慨變成你的權利。
For example:
例如:
In my previous marriage, I cooked all the dinners. I would make his plate, and bring it to wherever he was. It’s a quiet way of giving affection and being considerate.
在我之前的婚姻中,晚餐都是我做的。不管他在哪裡,我都會給他做好帶過去。這是一種安靜的表達愛意和體貼的方式。
One time, early in our marriage, he had a busy couple weeks. So, to be thoughtful, I began packing his lunch for those days. He needed to leave early, so I began cooking and packing him a breakfast to reheat at work. These were things I did out of love and kindness.
有一次,我們剛結婚那會兒,他有幾個星期很忙。所以,為瞭考慮周到,我開始為他準備那些日子的午餐。他需要早點離開,我就為他準備早餐,在他工作的時候再加熱。這些都是我出於愛和善意所做的事情。
Fast forward five years…he comes home from work every night and parks himself in the recliner with the remote control. I come home from my job, and immediately start cooking. I’m cooking our dinner, while he watches TV and yells from the other room to find out when it will be ready. I bring him his plate, and he eats while he watches the news. I eat at the kitchen counter while I’m cooking his lunch and breakfast for the next day. He is watching a show, and enjoying dessert, while I’m doing dishes. I no longer even get a ‘thank you’. In fact, if I get busy at my job, and ask him to take care of his own breakfast or lunch, he becomes angry if it’s longer than a day or two.
時間快進到五年之後,他每天晚上下班回傢,坐在躺椅上,手裡拿著遙控器。我下班回到傢,馬上開始做飯。我在做飯,他在看電視,在另一個房間喊著什麼時候能做好。我給他端來盤子,他邊吃邊看新聞。我在廚房櫃臺邊吃,邊給他做第二天的午餐和早餐。他在看節目,吃著甜點,而我在洗碗。我甚至連一句“謝謝”都得不到。事實上,如果我在工作上很忙,讓他自己安排早餐或午餐,超過一兩天他就會生氣。
Fast forward 10 years…I come home from work every night and immediately start cooking dinner, while my kids do homework or play in the other room. I make their plates and bring them to the kids while they play. My son stops when I walk in, jumps up and down and gives me a hug. My daughter meets me halfway, takes her plate and says, “Thank you, Mommy.” I eat at the kitchen counter while I pack their lunches. My kids put their empty dishes in the sink and tell me how much they like what I made. I will cook for them forever…if they let me.
快進到十年後,每天晚上我下班回傢就馬上開始做飯,而我的孩子們在另一個房間做作業或者玩耍。我為他們做飯,在孩子們玩耍的時候拿給他們。當我走進來時,我的兒子停瞭下來,跳來跳去給瞭我一個擁抱。我的女兒半路上碰到我,拿起她的盤子說:“謝謝你,媽媽。”我在廚房櫃臺邊吃飯,邊給他們裝午餐。我的孩子們把他們的空盤子放在水池裡,告訴我他們有多喜歡我所做的飯。我會永遠為他們做飯,如果他們允許的話。
My ex-husband…he sits in somebody else’s recliner now, taking that person for granted.
我的前夫…他現在坐在別人的躺椅上,把那個人當成理所當然。
I love doing nice things for the people I care about. However, nobody is entitled to my generosity.
我喜歡為我關心的人做這些事。然而,沒有人有權得到我的慷慨。
My best relationship advice: Accept generosity and thoughtfulness as gifts from your partner. Do not use those gifts to make them your servant. Gratitude will make you both feel loved.
我最好的戀愛建議是:接受對方的慷慨和體貼。不要因為那些贈與就把對方當成傭人。感激會讓你們彼此都感到被愛。
小編zzz總結
沒人有義務對你一直好。
No one has an obligation to be nice to you all the time.
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